Thursday, September 19, 2013

Gen Y pledges to support charities after Boomers pass as long as it somehow involves helping a cool band make their first album


Leaders of Generation Y have pledged to help US charities once the Boomers pass. On the steps of the Capitol Building in Washington, DC, the Gen Y’s signed a pledge committing themselves to philanthropically supporting charities when the Boomers and Xers pass them the torch in the next few years.

“Our generation pledges to take up the reins of philanthropy when our time comes and keep the US charity sector going,” said Gen Y leader Rumor Snidely, 28, who works part-time at a Starbucks in Seattle. “We just assume that when that happens it will involve supporting something not too lame.”

“We’ll certainly do our part, but, like, it had better be cool. Like that band I gave to last week who needed start-up cash to make their first CD. But don’t worry, our Gen won’t drop the ball or nothing,” he said.

Following months of negotiations with the US government and leaders from the Boomers and Xers, the Gen Y leaders signed the pledge on behalf of the millions of American youth, most of whom are underemployed and carrying massive student debt.

Charities hailed the agreement as a major breakthrough that will secure the long-term future of US charities.

“The demographic challenge that most US charities will face when the Boomers pass and the Xers try and fail to carry the load will be met by these philanthropic Gen Ys. Our worst fears about a gap in our long-term donation revenues have been eased,” said Dibble Brewer, CEO of the League of Big Honking Charities, which represents the 10,00 largest charities in the country.

“I don’t quite know why the Gen Ys keep asking us about whether they get a copy of the book or the movie we’re making and such,” he added. “It shows that they are keen to take up the cause for philanthropy, I think.”

Snidely pointed to national polls show that clearly show that Gen Y is committed to supporting US charities. A recent US Tomorrow national survey found that 78% of Gen Ys planned to make a donation this year, mostly to crowdsourcing projects that involving celebrities and people who wear sunglasses.

“Some people think our generation are a bunch of lazy good for nothings who will let US charities wither on the vine for lack of donations,” said Snidely. “That just isn’t so. Gen Ys love charities that involve grunge bands, new video games and comic books. As long as charities or someone makes those, we’ll support them.”